Dating

bbw dating

Many people are afraid of the unknown and dating is one of them.  Dating can be really hard because you worry about making the first impression.  I once dated this guy I met on BBW Dating. He had  most of the qualities girls always hope to find in a guy very nice person, gentleman, and good looking.  Our first date was at coffee house, we had the chance to interact we laughed, and seem to have an attraction for each other. So, our first date turn out fine.  The second time he invited me to his place, I was a little nervous at first but I wanted to feel okay about it.  He picked me up  at my house and we drove to his place, when he open the door to his apartment the lights were out, so I couldn’t really see anything inside the apartment.  When he reached out to turned the lights on, his apartment looked a complete disaster clothes, shoes, plates, food, and garbage pile up on top of the couch it looked like a busy supermarket.  The place had a strange smell and no matter where I looked for a place to sit, I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t disturbing and disgusting to be around.  It was shocking the way things turn out something so good outside doors, but the total opposite inside doors.  It was a turn off for me, that goes the old saying never judge a book by it’s cover.  He took me home; I erased his number from my phone and never saw him again.

Relationships
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Are You Mature Enough to Attract a Real Love?

One of the first things you have to ask yourself in order to master your relationships with men is – “Are you acting like a woman or a little brat that has nothing to offer.”  Even women who do have a lot to offer turn off men with their little girl behavior.   That is because society does teach us that men like immature personalities and that we should like a child or a princess. However, although this might be true of some men, it is not true of all of them.

 

Are you one of these women who has nothing more to offer a man but a delightful evening with an overgrown entitled brat. Not only do most men dislike the stereotype of the princess, but they also run like hell from women that don’t seem to have anything else to focus on in his or her life but what he is doing all of the time.

 

Women who are not mature in their approach to dating tend to attract a guy who tends to be a parent more of a partner. This is fun at first but the end result could be a lot of ego struggles and she may feel taken advantage of emotionally and physically.

 

Women who present themselves like little girls to men are almost never serious contenders for marriage. The man is always letting her know that on some subtle level that she is not the one and that he is waiting for someone much better to come along.

 

Women who are childlike suffer from anxiety when her and the man are apart because she knows that she is treated like a last resort or something that should just be settled for.

 

By contrast, if you act mature then you will attract a man who sees you as a lover and an equal. The partner is always aware that she is powerful and he knows that she has options if he decides not to treat her well.  A woman like this is able to trust her partner and go for days without seeing him without anxiety because she knows she has chosen the right person.

 

In short a woman who is mature does not have the time to chase men because she is too focused on her own life to care what he is doing or thinks of her all of the time. Love is reciprocal and sex and affection freely granted with no conditions!

 

Relationships
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Dealing With Panic After a Break Up

How do you deal with those very real feelings of panic after a break up?

First off you have to ask yourself how you might feel tomorrow if you do something like sneak onto your ex’s Facebook or phoning him late at night to see if he is home. You need to weigh out how bad you are going to feel and how bad you are going to look to him if you spill out a bunch of emotion.

People lose self-control after a break up because they feel like they have lost control over the other person. Women, especially can feel that they have lost control over their entire lives. Even if they were not that happy in the relationship they at least knew what was happening next.  They would make up with the guy after a fight and then he would cheat or do whatever split them up in the first place. For women, especially, a break up means a loss of identity that is difficult to deal with.

The result is feeling like you must do something immediate and drastic to combat that feeling of being completely out of control.  This is why people become compulsive and drunk-dial their ex or become irrational in the days following the break up. They feel like if they do not do something about the situation right this minute they will lose the person.

Before you can do anything to save the relationship you have to get a grip and become a rational human being again. This may not happen in a couple of minutes or even a couple of nights.

In fact, the average time that couples need to recover from a bad split is about six weeks. That is how long it can take you to feel sane again.

You are broken up with your relationship anyway so why not take a real break from it. Use the split as a chance to recover from it emotionally. Taking a break from it means staying away from your ex. Do not call, email, stop by or hang out where you think he or she will. The sooner you stop compulsively trying to get your ex back, the sooner you will be able to recover and eventually regain the relationship.

That’s right. You have to avoid the relationship (for now) to save the relationship. Think of it like pruning a rose so it can grow back bigger and stronger later.

 

Relationships
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Are You In Denial About a Bad Relationship?

In relationships with emotional problems, with addiction and with abuse we have a tendency to go into denial. Sometimes the problems are so bad we can’t look at what is wrong.

Sometimes our desire to have things go well is so intense that we lie to ourselves. Women are particularly vulnerable to this type of thinking. They feel that they will never find another man again if they split up with someone forever.

If you think that you can’t live without him, that he was your whole life or that you will never find anyone as good as her then you are probably not in love. You are probably in a codependency. It might also meant that the relationship was abusive to the extent that your self-esteem was permanently affected.

It is also a mistake to believe that if you get back together that the person will change. Stupidity is the definition of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

It is also a mistake to believe that it is your job to somehow rescue or change a person, especially if they have a drug or alcohol abuse problem. If you are dealing with a partner like this the only thing that is going to work is unconditional love. You can only change yourself, not him or her and you can expect very little of the relationship.

If you find yourself listing reasons such as “I can’t be happy alone” or “I would die without him” then you need to know that you are lying to yourself. These statements are more about you than the person you want to be with.

The truth is that you can be happy again without or without this person in your life and if you do not believe that then you it might be time to see a therapist. It is a mistake to think that just because someone has left your life, you will not have any more good experiences.

If you go on thinking that you can’t make it in life alone, then you’ll have problems in this relationship and any relationships you have in the future. The ability to be happy on your own shows that you value yourself. Giving all of the power to make yourself happy or sad to another person is a symptom of low self-esteem.

As important as it is to be optimistic about the future you also need to be grounded in reality about your partner and whether or not it is actually in your best interests to return to the relationship.

 

Relationships
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